List of quotes used by the Die Hard villains

This is a list of quotes used by the main villains of their respective film in the Die Hard Series.

Hans Gruber

• (first lines) "Due to the Nakatomi corporation's legacy of greed around the globe, they're about to be taught a lesson in the real use of power...you will be witnesses."
• "What idiot put you in charge?"
• "Now I have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho."
• "SIT...down!"
• "I am going to count to three. There will not be a four."
• "Nice Suit. John Philips, London. I have two myself. Rumor has it Arafat buys his there too."
• "That's a very nice suit, Mr. Takagi. It would be a shame to ruin it..."
• (addressing the hostages) "I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way... so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life. We can go any way you want it. You can walk out of here or be carried out. But have no illusions. We are in charge. So, decide now, each of you. And please remember: we have left nothing to chance."
• (Looking puzzled) "I must have missed 60 Minutes. What are you saying?"
• "Karl ... Schieß dem Fenster ... Shoot the glass!"
• "Enough jokes!"
• "The following people are to be released from their captors: In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec. In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn Movement..."
• (covers the radio) "I read about them in Time magazine."
• "But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?"
• "You idiot. It's not the police. It's him."
• "Who said we were terrorists?"
• "It's Christmas, Theo. It's the time of miracles. So be of good cheer... and call me when you hit the last lock."
• "When they touch down, we'll blow the roof, they'll spend a month sifting through the rubble and by the time they figure out what went wrong—we'll be sitting on a beach... earning twenty percent."
• "You're very perceptive"
• "Eh, that's... very kind of you. I assume you are our mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard."
• "I could talk about industrialization and men's fashion all day, but I'm afraid work must intrude."
• "And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept...for there were no more worlds to conquer. Benefits of a classical education."
• "Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?"
• "That's very kind of you. I assume you are our mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard."
• "Still the cowboy, Mr. McClane! Well, this time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly."
• "The roof! Go, go."
• "Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?"
• (he puts the walkie talkie up to the screaming crowd, then yells into the walkie talkie) "You hear that? Talk to me, where are my detonators? Where are they, or shall I shoot another one? Sooner or later, I might get to someone you *do* care about!"
• "The circuits that cannnot be cut are cut automatically in response to a terrorist incident. You ask for miracles. Theo, I give you the F...B...I."
• "Touching, Cowboy, touching. Or should I call you, Mr. McClane? Mr. Officer John McClane of the New York Police Department?"
• "When they touch down, we'll blow the roof, they'll spend a month sifting through rubble, and by the time they figure out what went wrong, we'll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent."
• "I am an exceptional thief Mrs. McClane and since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite."
• "When you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal $600 million, they will find you unless they think you're already dead."
• "Put down the gun."
• "Mrs. McClane. How nice to make your acquaintance."
• "Oh yes, what was it you said to me before? Yippee-ki-ay...motherfucker." (last words)

Colonel Stuart

• "You can have two: "fuck" and "you"."
• "Oh, McClane. John McClane. The policeman hero who saved the Nakatomi hostages. I read about you in People Magazine. You seemed a bit out of your league on Nightline, I thought."
• "I think Cardinal Richilieu said it best: "Treason is merely a matter of dates." This country's got to learn that it can't keep cutting the legs off of men like General Esperanza. Men who have the guts to stand up against Communist aggression."
• "No. I think we can find something in between. Watch this! (Hangs up and turns to Thompson)
• "That concludes our object lesson for this evening. If the 747 we requested is ready on time and General Esperanza's plane arrives unmolested, further lessons can be avoided. Out."
• "Attention, Dulles Tower. Attention, Dulles Control Tower. Mr. Trudeau, I know you're listening. Unfortunately, you're not obeying."
• "McClane! I assume it's you, McClane! You're quite a little soldier! You can consider this a military funeral! (McClane tries to open the cockpit door, which jams against the rescue axe Kahn used to secure it. At this point, Stuart, Esperanza, Garber and Kahn open fire on the plane, spraying up the nose of the aircraft with bullets)
• "You were warned not to try to restore your systems. You've wasted lives and precious time on a futile and obvious target. Now you're gonna pay the penalty."
• "Give me a flight number - one that's low on fuel."
• "Who I am is unimportant. What I want...well if you don't want those planes to start splashing into the Potomac cause they run out of fuel, what I want is very important."
• "We got you."
• "Happy landings asshole." (last words)

Simon Gruber

• "Said simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, give me your pies... or I'll cave your head in!"
• "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Every wife had seven sacks, every sack had seven cats, every cat had seven kittens. Kittens, cats, sacks, wives. How many were going to St. Ives?"
• (as McClane answers the pay phone) "Birds of a feather, flocked together, so do pigs & swine. Rats and mice all have their chance as well as I had mine."
• "I had two pigeons, bright and gay, fly from me the other day. Why was it they did go? You cannot tell, you do not know."
• "Why was the phone busy, who were you calling?"
• (Slightly annoyed) "You can simply say that there was a fat woman on it and it took you a minute to get her off!"
• "Now, there's a significant amount of explosive in the trash receptacle next to you. Try to run, and it goes off now."
• "No, I mean Santa Claus."
• "You c-c-c-couldn't catch me if I stole your ch-ch-chair with you in it!"
• "Call me Simon."
• "I want to play a game."
• ""Simon Says". Simon's going to tell Lt. McClane what to do, and Lt. McClane is going to do it. Noncompliance will result in a penalty."
• "Another big bang in a very public place."
• "I didn’t say "Simon says.""
• (talking to police on speaker phone) "Well, is the ebony Samaritan there, now?"
• "No, no. My only problem is that I went to some trouble preparing that game for McClane. You interfered with a well-laid plan."
• "Money is shit to me. I would not trade McClane for all the gold in your Fort Knox."
• "Simon says, McClane and the Samaritan will go to the subway station at 72nd and Broadway. I will call you in 15 minutes on the payphone outside the station. No Police. Failure to answer will constitute noncompliance. Do you understand me, John?"
• (Simon has just broken into the Federal Reserve) "One hundred and forty billion dollars! Ten times what's in Kentucky. Fort Knox? Ha! It's for tourists!"
• "[while eating] You forgot to take the safety catch off." (shoots Zeus in the leg) "See, that works. Now, where's McClane?"
• "Life has its little bonuses."
• "(To Katya) I think he's dead my dear."
• (laughs) "Oh, God, I love this country!"
• "Yesterday we were an army with no country. Tomorrow, we have to decide which country we want to buy!"
• (addressing his troops) "And remember, this is all due to the g-g-g-g-g-g-gullibility of the New York Police Department!"
• "There's a difference, you know, between not liking one's brother and not caring when some dumb Irish flatfoot drops him out of a window."
• (throws an aspirin bottle toward McClane) "Keep ze bottle."
• “Get outta here!” (Simon's last words)

Thomas Gabriel

• "Rand, check in."
• "What about Farrell and McClane?"
• "Think of them as hardware to your software."
• (from unrated DVD release) "You know, John, I feel like we've gotten off on the wrong foot. And because of that, you think I'm the bad guy. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm the good guy here. I told them this could happen if they didn't prepare. Did I get a "thank you"? No, I got a "fuck you." But, they wouldn't listen."
• (from theatrical release) "You know, John, I feel like we've gotten off on the wrong foot. And because of that, you think I'm the bad guy. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm the good guy here. I told them this could happen if they didn't prepare. Did I get a "thank you"? No, I got crucified. But, they wouldn't listen."
• "Launch the downloads!"
• (after learning of Mai's death) "You have no idea who I am or what I am capable of."
• (to Trey) "Don't ever hesitate like that again."
• (to Lucy McClane) "Hey, behave…or I will hurt you."
• "Everything I've broken can be fixed if the country is willing to pay for it."
• "What? I shouldn't get paid for my work? I'm working my ass off here, John!"
• "I can't talk to this guy. You talk to him. See if you can get him to focus."
• (to McClane) "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? Come on, John, make a joke, say something funny."
• "Freddy, what are you doing dicking around inside my network?"
• (Whispering, after discovering that the Warlock has hacked into his network) "Fat bastard."
• "Detective, covering the camera with your hand does not turn off the microphone."
• "Would somebody, please kill that son of a bitch?!"
• (referring to McClane])"You're a Timex watch in a digital age."
• "McClane? I thought I killed you already."
• (speaking to Emerson) "Jesus Christ, you got her?
• (speaking to Emerson) "You're sure? It's a nice effort, though."
• "We are leaving in three minutes." (pushes computer toward Matt) "You have one."
• "Matthew!" (shoots gun at steel drum where Farrell is hiding)
• (Thomas grabs Lucy and puts a gun to her head) "Matthew! Matthew! I really need you to pay attention. The rules can always change."
• (referring to Lucy) "I'm gonna shoot her in ten seconds. Nine. Eight." (Thomas shoots his weapon into the air twice) "Six."
• "McClane! Would you do me a favor? I know the lights are beginning to dim, but if you could just hang on...for a second! As soon as Matt's finished, I'm gonna KILL HIM AND YOUR DAUGHTER, AND I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO SEE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "Goddammit. Matthew!"
• "A few seconds. Stay with me. McClane! Stay with me!"
• "On your tombstone, it should read "Always in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time." (his last words)

Yuri Komarov

• "Goddamn Americans. You think you're so smart."
• (to John McClane) "You're crazy."
• "I don't want my life back."
• (to Jack McClane) "Well done, Mr. Super-spy!"
• "What a shame your father won't be alive to see you promoted!" (Yuri's final words)